During this past Sunday's message on Hope in More Than Vapor - Ecclesiastes 8:10-13, Aaron shared how we may not be worthy to be forgiven, but Jesus is worthy to forgive us. The basis of God's forgiveness is not mercy, it is justice. Watch here:

Watch the full message here.

Maybe it is because I teach English Language Arts, maybe it is because my parents nurtured my imagination, or maybe it is because books and I have always been friends. Whatever the reason, God often speaks to me using metaphor. He pulls me into a metaphor and shows me how it communicates something about His nature.  

A few weeks ago, I had the pleasure of experiencing one of His greatest metaphors. Lizzy*, a little girl who I mentor, invited me to be present for her adoption. No longer would she be a foster child, she would now be a daughter.  Lizzy was orphaned by neglectful parents, now she would be adopted by a loving mom. Over the year that I had mentored Lizzy, there was some confusion as she was moved from one foster home to another. Being new to mentoring, I hadn’t understood the process, but I now appreciate how God was working in Lizzy’s life. This adoption was something to celebrate.

I entered the Santa Barbara County courtroom behind the family and their close community. Lizzy was asked to sit in front of a microphone with her eyes on the judge, next to her adopting mother. Her little sister, who was also being adopted, sat on her new mother’s lap. The family, including other adopted children, a child in foster care, grandchildren, and a biological daughter, formed a semi-circle facing the judge.  

The judge stated the names of the individuals present as witnesses to the adoption. He then pulled up the paperwork proving that the cost of the adoption had been fulfilled. As part of the proceedings, he stated the enormity of adoption and how it was his responsibility and privilege to ensure that Lizzy and her sister were in the right home. The judge asked Lizzy if she wanted to be adopted and Lizzy stated that she did. Her adopting mother told the judge about a recent conversation in which Lizzy was excited about the adoption, but hadn’t understood that the adoption was forever. She thought that the adoption would end when she turned eighteen, like foster care. The judge explained to Lizzy that once she was adopted, she was a part of the family forever; her mother would always be her mother. He then repeated the question and asked Lizzy is she agreed to this. She replied, with an emphatic, “Yes!”  

Lizzy’s Court Appointed Special Advocate (CASA) was asked to give testimony about the family. Then the family members gave examples of the adopting mother’s love and of her character. The witnesses were also invited to testify to the character of the mother and the safety of the home.  

As I was welcomed to participate in the adoption, I began to see it from an entirely different perspective. Instead of a man in glasses on the judge’s seat, I visualized God the Father. But, curiously, not only was He in the judge’s seat, He was also seated in the mother’s chair. It wasn’t Lizzy seated next to Him, it was me. I heard a voice say, “What is the cost of Holly’s adoption?  Are you, the adopting father, willing to pay it?” There was a silence. “The cost,” said the voice beside me, “Is my own Son. His nail pierced hands are proof that he died for her; the nails held my Son to the cross so that this child could be mine. She can sit in my presence because my son’s righteousness was given to her. The cost is fulfilled.” 

Again, the voice from the judge’s seat asked, “Is there anyone here who can advocate for this girl?” An advocate stood, but not the CASA worker as I expected. It was a man dressed in white with scars on his hands and feet. His gaze held mine. “I am the Father’s Son and I am her advocate. I can tell you; she needs a new identity. She was lost, and now she is found; she was dead, and now she is alive. I have made a way for her to her to be adopted by my Father.”

The judge’s voice now addressed me. “Is this agreeable to you?  Do you want to be adopted?” A lump caught in my throat. I asked, “But don’t you think I need to do something in order to be adopted?  Shouldn’t I prove that I’m good enough, sweet enough, pretty enough, to be called His daughter?”

A soft chuckle came from beside me. “Don’t you see?” asked God the Father, “It’s nothing that you have done or will do that pays the cost of your adoption, it’s what my Son has done. The adoption is my gift to you. Do you want to be called my child?”

I thought about my sin nature: the envy, the pride, the jealousy, the anger. I wanted that nature to die; I wanted a new identity. I answered, “Oh yes!  I want to be your child, but...what if I wander away or what if I do something so shameful that I can never come home?”

Once again, I heard a soft chuckle.  “You will be mine forever; I have ways of pursuing you and of calling you back home. I love you so much that I sent my Son to die in your place. You get a new nature, a new name. You get to be my daughter and I will never leave you or forsake you.” 

Joy began leaping up from a place deep inside.  Suddenly, I was surrounded by others. “These are your brothers and sisters,” God the Father explained, “I have also adopted them and called them my own.”  The voice from the judge’s seat asked, “Who can give testimony to the adopting Father’s character?”

The witnesses, my brothers and sisters, began speaking. “He is good. He is not tame, but he is good,” said one. “He is slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love,” said another. “He counts the tears you cry,” testified a brother. “He sees your walk of shame as you come home and runs to welcome you back. Then he throws a party for your homecoming,” a sister said. “Wow,” I thought, “This is my Father and I get to be his daughter.”  

I glanced at the faces of my brothers and sisters, then back at the man in white, and over at God the Father. “Clearly, something is troubling you,” the judge said. “Well,” I slowly replied, “I don’t look or behave like God’s Son.  I don’t look like His other adopted children.  Their skin color is lighter or darker, their hair is straighter or curlier than mine, their eyes are blue, green, or black.  How will the world know that I, too, belong to my Father?”  

God the Father leaned over and placed a kiss on my head. “This is my seal, my guarantee that you belong. You have my Spirit in you to comfort and guide as you begin to look more like my Son. It’s not an easy process, but you are not alone. Your adopted siblings are also sealed in my name and are also undergoing the same transformation. You will need your adopted family to help you, but most importantly, you need my Spirit who is your ultimate Helper.  He will remind you of who you are and of my words and promises.  Whether you eat, sleep, drink, work, play, or rest, He will be with you.”

A little girl’s voice pulled me from my reverie.  “Am I adopted yet?” Lizzy asked into the microphone. The courtroom exploded in laughter.  The judge with glasses looked down at her and said, “Not yet, you’ll know when you are.”  He leaned back in his chair and said, “My findings are that Lizzy and her sister are being placed in the best situation possible. This is what ought to be shown on the nightly news; people who are willing to take in a lost child and make the child their own.  You were formerly Lizzy Smith, now you shall henceforth be Lizzy Marie Jones.”  The judge turned and asked Lizzy’s mother for a formal signature in his presence.  “Lizzy, you are now adopted,” he said.  The courtroom exploded in applause, the certificate of adoption was presented to Lizzy, pictures were taken, and Lizzy was hugged by countless arms.

I walked out of the courtroom into the blaring sunlight and smiled.  Adoption should be celebrated. As God’s children, we should be celebrating what He has done: He has called us to Himself and adopted us as His sons and daughters, He gave us a new name and a new identity, we belong to Him and our lives reflect His glory.  May our lips be ready to share the good news and testify to His character. He is a very good Father.

*Names have been changed to protect privacy.

Last Sunday was our Baptisms! If you didn't make it, or missed reading the stories, this weeks blog is simply a link to them. Please read them, be excited for them, and always stand amazed at the goodness of our great God.

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I’ll never forget when I was younger, living in Colorado, the massive pain of the Columbine Massacre—the images and news coverage; the sheer horror. A couple years ago, I woke up to the news on my phone of the Las Vegas shootings, and shot out of bed, remembering I had a friend there for the concert where the shooting took place. She had to flee the event, watching the carnage play out in front of her while her husband worked to help the wounded. Just a couple weeks ago, I heard about the Gilroy incident and I was cut to the heart about a little boy passing away—a little one close to my own son’s age.

Honestly, I can hardly even read or follow these news stories as they induce a fear inside me. Today, my parents are taking my kids to the movies, and the thought goes through my head: will my kids be safe? What if something happens? My first reaction is to want to avoid anything that could be dangerous, especially for the safety of my kids, but if I play this logic out—where can I go? Where is a guaranteed safe place, away from any harm? Not a movie theater, festival, concert, public building, school. It’s not just shootings I need to think about—I’m not even guaranteed a safe drive on the freeway to work today; yet I can’t hide out in fear. That’s not living.

This past weekend, my husband and I had a getaway with our best friends, without our kids. As per usual, we talked about everything in our lives. I remember after one of the mass shootings, talking to these friends about how I would logistically get my kids to safety in the event something happens (run, hide, fight—what mother wants to think this way)? My friend has four kids; her husband is a police officer. We all want the answers and the solutions to these problems that are so prevalent in our society. Is it the guns? The mental health? Social media? Not catching the signs of these behaviors sooner? We ask the questions; we can’t find the answers.

As I’ve grappled with the intensity of the news in the last couple weeks, I want to find the solution. I would do anything to guarantee a world where we could be safe anywhere, where I could live with certainty in the knowledge that my kids would be safe. As we discussed this topic, we came to the same conclusion: since sin entered the world, evil has been prevalent. We’ve seen it in wars, genocides, terrorism, mass shootings…the list continues on. While our society may be more aware of the news now, and the notoriety of these events escalates, it’s nothing new under the sun. We can’t remove evil.

This is where perspective comes in as a believer in Jesus. I am reminded of the hope of the Gospel. I am reminded that until Jesus comes back, renews and restores the earth, and rules for eternity, we will live in a fallen world. I don’t pretend to have the answers to the issues at hand. Instead, I have to live in the tension of knowing we live in a world of sin and heartbreak of our own making, but that we have THE answer. We have Jesus, who offers redemption, who rescues us from the chains of sin. I’m reminded that the here and now is not our eternity, but that Jesus conquered sin and death for us to live in eternity. He is the Author of Salvation, the Comforter, the Redeemer.

This may seem trite or naïve—I am in no way advocating that Christians remove themselves from places of influence or that we just “give up” attempting to find solutions. We should eagerly seek to apply prayer, intellect, and logic as we engage in these discussions, and critically examine the environment in which we live. However, we need a framework for our beliefs, a worldview that impacts our decisions. It is this unwavering belief in the truth and redemption in Jesus that helps us understand our fallen world and where our hope lies. We engage, even when it is hard and do not have the specific answer to an unanswerable question, we do not shrink back. We have the message of the greatest news the world has ever heard and it can certainly make hope more real even in the midst of pain and loss.

Like so many things in life, living in the tension, the balance, is a difficult place to be. We are caught between the knowledge that “for me to live is Christ, to die is gain” (Phil 1:21). We can’t stop living, because it’s our lives on earth that point to Christ, grow us closer to Him, give us glimpses of that great joy, but we long for the day of completion. Revelation 21:4 says, “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” Friends, let us live in the hope that Jesus brings: the eternal, complete hope. There will come a day without pain and sadness.

While reading in my Bible this morning, I noticed something interesting. In Psalm 30:11-12, the Psalmist says: “You have turned for me my mourning into dancing, you have loosed sackcloth and clothed me with gladness, that my glory may sing your praise and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever!” What stands out to me in this passage is the presence of mourning and sadness, not the absence.

For most of my life, I have felt like a “bad” Christian for any emotion other than happiness.  Yet, God created humans with emotions, and the people of the Bible are full of these emotions, as noted above. For years I’ve struggled with anxiety/OCD tendencies. I’ve been ashamed of this weakness, searched for a formula to handle it, and prayed for deliverance. Many of my friends deal with anxiety, and several battle some form of depression; lots of them are Christians. Sometimes these areas of struggle are a lack of trust in God, caring too much what people think, a sin, or any other number of causes, and we should prayerfully seek the Lord’s guidance as we wade through the reasoning. Oftentimes in my experience there’s also a physiological component (I’m not a psychologist, so this is a non-professional opinion), and the struggle just “is what it is.”

In 2 Corinthians, Paul was given a “thorn in the flesh,” for which he pleaded for God to remove. God’s answer was, “my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” As I get older I’m learning a reality in life around me: everyone has something they struggle with. A thorn, if you will. It may be a broken family, health issues, anxiety, depression, financial problem, grief, or any other number of issues. As we’ve studied Ecclesiastes, we see this idea even more: life is full of toil. That’s normal! It’s in this reality that we turn to Jesus and find joy in our lives: with our families and friends, homes and feasts, and other abundant gifts from God. We have an eternal hope that outlasts the here and now, and it colors the world around us in a different way. Pain doesn’t triumph; it’s short-lived in light of eternity. Does that mean we are “happy” all the time? Void of problems? No! It means we have a framework to understand the good and the bad, the roller coaster of life.

Anxiety is one of my weaknesses. Yet it is in this specific weakness that I have seen that God’s grace is sufficient for me. Do I hate anxiety? Yes. Do I wish I could eliminate it forever? For sure. However, I’ve learned to ask myself: where do these emotions make me turn? This struggle drives me to the feet of my Father. I can’t manage on my own. He is the one who holds me, comforts me, heals me. I’m oddly thankful for this struggle that pushes me to the cross, to the present reality of God’s grace. It’s almost like I get to relive the beauty of His grace and marvel at it all over again each time I reach out in desperation.

Managing struggles usually cannot be achieved by following a simple formula, it’s a combination of many things: a reliance on the truth of Scripture combined with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, support of community, health for the body, and the constant reminder of God’s grace. The beauty of this “formula” is that we can revel in God’s grace. These labels we place on ourselves can help us understand the symptoms of our struggles, but they are not our identity. They are components of our humanity, but they deteriorate and lose their power in light of our identity as children of God and followers of Christ.

There’s not anything we have to do or be to earn our salvation. That work is done! We can stop and find peace. Struggles are a part of life, but like the Psalmist says, we get to see God turn our pain into dancing and clothe us with gladness! That is an amazing hope, one in which we can give thanks to God.

Many of us will remember the phrase from our younger years in the context of peer pressure and drugs, “just say no.” It was an important message then and I find it to be an increasingly important one now in my adult life, but for a different reason. This message in my adult life deals in the drug of busyness. If we are all honest, we would admit busyness can be a drug of its own, an enticing addiction that promises satisfaction and a marked achievement to be somebody. It’s even celebrated in our culture as a status marker and fulfilled life. How many times have we all rattled our to-do list of appointments, meetings, award ceremonies, sports games, get-togethers, and schedules in an attempt to impress another person with all we can juggle and handle? With all that’s demanded of us? But when we come to the bottom of busyness, after the hype has worn off, we find ourselves ultimately left unsatisfied, searching for fulfillment.

A few years ago my family lived in a large city where my husband commuted and we had no family support. We were busy all the time—friends, church, and out-of- town visitors. We were always striving for the next thing, even if it was a good thing, like volunteering at church. The fear of missing out drove the desire to say yes to everything, to fill the need to be busy. It’s a popular acronym—“FOMO” –but it was also a very real commentary on the state of our lives. If someone was getting together without us, we would drop everything to go, it didn’t matter what would be sacrificed because we didn’t want to miss out, even at the expense of my kids’ well-being, our finances, or even connection in our marriage.

After a convicting study on Sabbath Rest, my husband and I decided to implement Sabbath time in our own family. This was a tricky endeavor, as we were often at church for over half the day on Sundays. One Saturday we decided to refrain from any commitments, and just be together. As the four of us were eating ice cream together in a cocoon of our own that afternoon, we received an invitation to a BBQ/pool party with some friends. We wanted to go as a whole group of our friends would be there and it seemed like a perfect opportunity to spend time with everyone. We didn’t want to miss out. Yet, we made this commitment to ourselves. So we just said no, and it was so difficult.

We learned something that afternoon: saying no to that event didn’t mean we lost our friends. We had other pool parties with that same group of friends and life moved on. The irony, and lesson we learned, was that we could miss out and still be friends, still have a place to belong, and still connect with people. We didn’t have to say yes to everything. It was so freeing to say no because our worth wasn’t based on that one event. In fact, our relationships probably grew deeper and more secure, as we realized we didn’t have to strive so hard to belong. Our friends accepted us without demanding we attend every event.

That night was a turning point toward freedom—a realization that creating margin in our lives brought a breath of fresh air, connection, and health for our family. It enabled us to move toward each other in a thriving marriage, with intentional time spent together. There was space to breathe and rest for our souls.

A couple years later, we moved to Santa Maria. As this last year has transpired, I see the old habits creeping in and taking hold. I again find the desire to be included as I seek to re-establish myself and my family in new social circles. We’ve had weekends where we end Sunday and exhale, only to realize we never sat together, never talked about God, never let truth saturate our hearts, and never paused. We just survived the crazy, busy schedule of the weekend, only to feel burned out by the time it was over.

I’m realizing intentionality is the gateway to margin. God, after creating the entire world, rested on the seventh day. In fact, as I read through Leviticus recently, I learned God even gave the land a Sabbath rest. He intended for us to stop and rest and created this rhythm in our world. It is in the time of rest, the time without plans or agendas, that we can focus on who God is and what He has done. It’s in the time of just being that we can remember our identity is in Christ and who He says we are, not in our social status or the activities we do.

I’ve learned it’s in the quiet time when we are all able to let our guards down. It’s a time for my kids to recalibrate. It’s in that space when I’m able to parent efficiently because I’m not distracted by my to-do list or trying to keep my kids occupied so I can chat with my adult friends. We find laughter there, enjoying each other and the great gifts God has given us.

Creating margin is a practical necessity for my life—for my family’s life—at this stage. We need to make God the focus of our Sabbath rest, yet it will come with sacrifices. We may have to turn down invitations from friends, we may need to evaluate extra-curricular commitments, we may even miss out.

Now we are facing a new transition. We find ourselves absorbing more change and added pressure. I have had to go back to basics to create margin in my life and fight to maintain my priorities. I’ve had to just say no. I am a follower of Christ, a wife, and a mom in that order. I am currently in a season where margin is necessary for us to thrive. I want to be obedient to the relationships and people God has put in my life. However, if I am spread too thin, I am no longer effective in the ones that are non-negotiable: my husband and kids. I made a covenant commitment to my husband. If I am not carving out sacred space for our marriage to thrive, the impact spirals to all other areas of my life.

We need soul rest. While sometimes I am physically tired, often I find my weariness comes from the exhaustion of trying so hard to find my place in this world. Jesus says in Matthew 11:28 (ESV), “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

Rest for the soul. It’s a beautiful picture of peace and contentment. In this day of crazy schedules and juggling pressures from all sides, I am convinced the intentional creation of margin in our lives allows us the space to enjoy God and who He is and to discover who He says we are. A time of Sabbath creates time for soul rest, which spills into our entire lives, positively impacting those around us. If I, if we, can learn to just say no, we open the door to freedom, contentment, and rest for our souls.

Last Sunday, Aaron referenced a recent study that shows that the corridor between Santa Barbara and San Luis Obispo is the 9th Most 'Post-Christian' areas in America. Check out these articles for the full study:

• https://www.barna.com/research/post-christian-cities-2019/
• https://relevantmagazine.com/current/here-are-the-most-post-christian-cities-in-america/
• https://www.christianpost.com/news/northeast-dominates-list-americas-most-post-christian-cities-barna-report.html

Last week's blog post we looked at the question that was posed in one of our Gospel Communities related to Colossians 3:22-4:1, “What if your boss isn’t worth following? What if they are unfair and unjust?” The Bible presents a number of teachings which can be applied to how to handle an unjust or unfair boss. Depending on your specific situation, you may find that one or more of these principles or examples directly applies. In Part 1, we explored 3 “Don’ts” and this week we will look at the happier 3 “Do’s”: 

3 “Do’s” in Dealing with an Unjust Boss:

Do #1: Do Show Respect
Even if we are in a situation with an unjust boss, we are called as Christ-followers to treat them with respect. 1 Peter 2:18 specifically addresses this situation: 

¹⁸ You who are slaves must submit to your masters with all respect. Do what they tell you—not only if they are kind and reasonable, but even if they are cruel.

Don’t dismiss this passage just because of the term “slaves.”  Slaves in the Roman Empire at the time this was written corresponds to employees in our time (rather than the “chattel” slavery that treated people as property).  We are called to respect the position of authority, and our honor for the position drives us to behave in ways that honor our boss along the way, even if they are cruel and unjust.  There are limits to this, thankfully. Peter could not obey the authority of the High Priest in Acts 5:29 because it violated what Jesus had directed him to do, “We must obey God rather than any human authority.” We aren’t required to obey unjust bosses when following their orders would cause us to disobey God’s direction, but we still need to show them respect in the process.

By the nature of God putting our boss in a position of authority, we owe them honor simply because God put them there. Even if their behavior is dishonorable. That’s hard to do. And I’m not always good at it. But God gives us the Holy Spirit to display character qualities reflective of our new nature – and if we depend on Him, those qualities will surface.

Do #2: Do Seek Resolution
Let’s say you find yourself working for an unjust boss and need to either confront their behavior or disagree with their order to do something that violates what you believe God has instructed us to do. Trying to improve the situation is certainly allowed, and doing so with love and respect reflects the character of Christ. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 describes aspects of a person’s life that is characterized by the love of Christ reflecting through them (notice the highlighted phrase):

⁴ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud ⁵ or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. ⁶ It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. ⁷ Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

If we find ourselves with an unjust boss, it is acceptable to respectfully address the injustice and seek an appropriate resolution. It might not happen, but it is ok to try. And if we have a long track record of honoring of our boss, I believe our respectful, humble attempt to address an injustice will be received well most of the time.

Do #3: Do Consider Alternatives
Sadly, treating an unjust boss with honor and seeking resolution graciously does not always result in lasting change. We are fortunate to live in a culture and an economy where most people have reasonable employment opportunities that include alternatives to working for an unjust boss. If that happens to be your situation, 1 Corinthians 7:20-23 encourages you to consider an alternative work situation when available (note “slaves” in this passage are analogous to “employees” in our present day):

²⁰ Each person should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. ²¹ Were you a slave when you were called? Don’t let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. ²² For the one who was a slave when called to faith in the Lord is the Lord’s freed person; similarly, the one who was free when called is Christ’s slave. ²³ You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of human beings.

We are encouraged here to find a better situation, if it is an option. That’s what “gain your freedom” is referring to – find a better boss if you can.

But what if a better situation isn’t an option? What do we do then? 1 Peter 4:19 reminds us to commit the outcome of our difficult situation to God, and continue to do good in the midst of our tough spot:

¹⁹ So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Conclusion
As we’ve seen, the Bible gives us some helpful guidance to direct our behavior and attitude toward our bosses, whether they are just or unjust. In some situations, the Bible guides us to pursue other options (a.k.a. freedom) when that is a viable option. But when leaving isn’t a viable option, the Bible still gives us some helpful direction for how we should navigate such a difficult situation. Honoring our boss is always the right path, as is maintaining a healthy attitude, working diligently, and seeking peaceful resolution to conflict. As we work hard, honor our leadership, and trust the outcome to God, we can be confident that God will give us strength and use our lives as an example to those around us to display His glory to a lost and dying world.

Our Gospel Community recently explored what a Godly attitude toward work looks like from a Biblical perspective. We spent a good bit of time looking at the attitudes and work ethic that are encouraged in Colossians 3:22-4:1. In the middle of our conversation, a great question popped up: “What if your boss isn’t worth following? What if they are unfair and unjust?”

I loved the honesty in that question!

Have you ever had a bad boss? Most of the people I have worked with can point to a time in their work history where they encountered a boss who was unfair, unkind, or even unjust. I can remember one boss in particular who would threaten me almost every day with bold statements like, “If you don’t finish what I’ve assigned you by the end of today, I’m going to fire you!” Then he would spend his time sitting in his office day-trading, surfing illicit web sites, or gossiping with co-workers. It was a very demoralizing work environment.

But what is a Christian to do? Are we supposed to roll over and take the abuse? Are we supposed to head for the door and find a new gig as soon as humanly possible? Are we supposed to stay and take a stand to minimize suffering for others?

These are heavy questions, without easy answers. If the Bible is supposed to be able to “thoroughly equip me for every good work” (2 Timothy 3:16-17) that must include how to handle an unjust boss, right?

Yes. That’s the good news.

The “less-good-news” is that there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

The Bible presents a number of teachings which can be applied to how to handle an unjust or unfair boss. Depending on your specific situation, you may find that one or more of these principles or examples directly applies. We’ll explore 3 “Do’s” and 3 “Don’ts” over the next two weeks and look at related Bible passages to help guide us through this challenging topic. Let’s take the bitter pill and get the bad news out of the way first, starting with the “Don’ts”:

3 “Don’ts” in Dealing with an Unjust Boss: 

Don’t #1: Don’t DQ (disqualify)

Before we conclude that we have an unjust boss, it is wise to do a quick self-check to make sure we haven’t disqualified ourselves by our own performance. Have I been giving my best at work? Am I following through on what is assigned to me? Have I been coming to work with a good attitude and working in a way that is honoring to my boss and co-workers?

Many times when we are held accountable for poor performance we are quick to label our boss as unfair or unjust in order to avoid facing the hard truth that our work might not be meeting legitimate expectations. This is not always the case, but we need to take responsibility for any part we play in the process and be willing to be held accountable when our work ethic or performance is genuinely lacking.

Proverbs 12:24 (MSG) presents a principle that we are wise to consider in this area:

The diligent find freedom in their work;
    the lazy are oppressed by work.

While an unjust boss may ignore diligent work, we need to be careful as Christ-followers to make sure that we are not lazy in our work. Before we declare our boss “unjust,” we need to confirm that we are not contributing to the problem… just because a boss says our work doesn’t meet our expectations doesn’t immediately mean they are being unjust. We need to be willing to examine our own work and be sure we have been diligent – otherwise our boss may be right in questioning our work, and we should take appropriate corrective actions if so.

Don’t #2: Don’t Reject Authority
When a boss seems unfair or unjust, it is easy for us to slip into a mode where we reject their authority or begin to discount their leadership. This reaction is dangerous. I remember early in my career when I felt like my company’s leadership was not making wise decisions. I shared my opinion with a co-worker, stating that I felt “our CEO is incompetent.” Those words traveled quickly, and I found myself in the CEO’s office having a frank discussion about my attitude. I had questioned his authority based on incomplete information and it did not reflect a Godly attitude.

Romans 13:1 presents a better attitude, recognizing that people in leadership (authority) are there because God allows them to be there:

Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 

We do well to honor those God has placed over us and guard our hearts against rejecting authority, even when leaders’ actions may seem unjust, incompetent, or evil. It honors God when we remember that He has allowed them to have the position they have, and do our best to be faithful in the aspects of our work that depend on us.

Don’t #3: Don’t Complain or Retaliate
It is tempting to complain or push back against an unjust leader. Your co-workers are likely already “venting” about how your leaders aren’t measuring up to their expectations. Yet Philippians 2:14 presents a clear direction to steer clear of complaining, grumbling, or arguing:

Do everything without grumbling or arguing 

Now before you dismiss this verse as “not relevant” or “out of context,” let’s keep reading verse 15:

so that you may become blameless and pure, “children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.” Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky…

Our call to do everything without grumbling (complaining) or arguing is so that the world will see that we are children of God, independent of the justness or unjustness of our boss. Our actions will point to Him as the reason for the difference and hopefully cause others to seek God as a result. That is why we don’t complain or retaliate, even if we have an unjust boss.

There’s the “don’ts,” tune in next week for the “do’s.”

Read Part 2 Here.

Living overseas exposed me to holidays and traditions that were unfamiliar. Early spring, British owned businesses in downtown Kyiv began advertising sales for “Mothering Sunday.” The holiday itself struck me as incredibly inclusive. Not a mother myself, I was still usually pushing a double stroller or carrying a child while walking down the road reading the advertisements. Though the children were not my own, I was mothering. People living internationally understand how it truly does take a village to raise children.

In the United Kingdom, “Mothering Sunday” did not begin as a day of honoring one’s mother; it began as a day honoring and returning to the local church. The fourth Sunday of Lent, people would return to the church of their baptism, essentially returning to the “mother church.” Along the way, servants (who were given the morning off) would pause and pick wildflowers for their own mothers. 

American Mother’s Day does not focus on the verb “mothering” as much as it does the office of motherhood. It essentially turns one Sunday a year into a day of “no access” for many women. Women do not fit into one tidy category. Think of the diversity! 

*A woman who has been struggling with infertility
*A woman suffering through the aftermaths of an abortion
*A woman who has had to say goodbye to a child
*A woman raising a child she has not birthed
*A woman raising children on her own
*A woman who does have children and/or the support of a loving husband
*A woman who has raised her children who are now out of the nest
*A woman who longs for children, but marriage isn’t on the horizon
*A woman who has no desire for marriage and children
*A woman who is happily married, invests in children, but doesn’t desire one of her own
*A woman who knows for certain that “all the best moms” don’t always get promoted to “grandma”

What, then, do we do with these women who might not fit the traditional definition of “mother?” We acknowledge that God creatively uses many people to act as a mother. Beyond that, we look to what God has supplied to all His children. 

God has given believers an amazing gift, the church. Through the church we receive God’s Word, nourishment for our souls. We receive the reminder that Christ’s body was broken and His blood poured out for all mankind. We receive baptism into Christ. We receive the hope we have in Christ. We receive the community of saints who live life on mission for God’s glory. The gift of the church is meant for all.

Isaiah 54:1-3 is one of my favorite passages of scripture: “‘Sing, O barren one, who did not bear, break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate one will be more than the children of her who is married,’ says the Lord. Enlarge the place of your tent and let the curtains of your habitations be stretched out; do not hold back: lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes. For you will spread abroad to the right and to the left, and your offspring will possess the nations and will people the desolate cities.”

As a woman who is not married nor is a mother, I take great personal comfort in this Isaiah passage. However, reading this scripture in context and as prophetic literature, its meaning extends far beyond encouragement for a “desolate” woman. Isaiah had just finished a thorough prophecy concerning Jesus. He then speaks to Israel in captivity and reminds them that they will return to Jerusalem. Isaiah points Israel back to the one true love, “For your Maker is your husband, the Lord of hosts is his name; and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer, the God of the whole earth he is called.” Isaiah 54:5. This prophecy was not only for the Jews and their return home, it is for the church, the Bride of Christ. One commentary points out that “enlarging the place of your tent” (Isaiah 54:2a) is a prophecy concerning Gentiles coming to faith. You and I have been welcomed into a prophecy made to God’s Holy Nation that is now extended to God’s Holy Church. And in this prophecy we have another assurance, “For the mountains may depart, and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love shall not depart from you.” (Isaiah 54:10). This is the God who loves us; He calls us home to His church.

Should Mother’s Day be celebrated? I intend on honoring my mother who has indeed nourished and discipled me in faith. I also intend on honoring God’s gift, the church. You may not see me in a chair on Sunday, May 12; I most likely will be returning to the church of my dedication and baptism. Who knows? Maybe I’ll also stop along Bradley Road and pick some wildflowers for my mom.